As I ate my breakfast this morning I was sat outside in the yarden listening to the sounds of nature and munching on my toast and chickpeas while the sound of gulls filled the sky.
When I was a child you only ever heard that sound by the seaside, now they have come inland, so I started to think, while I had my coffee to drink…
In fifty years from now you will have sparrowgulls,
smaller version of the big seagulls.
If you’re walking outside with a bag of chips,
four or five will come down to attack you,
pecking away at your head and hands.
Years have gone since they looked for crabs in the sand,
pigeons will have fled.
There might even be a comeback for Right Said Fred,
whilst I have sparrowgulls pecking at my head.
You can not go outside without a hat placed on your head,
just in case of a sparrowgull attack.
They will have claws that stick in your back
and more and more people will have heart attacks.
I ask you all, what is worse…
a sparrowgull on your head or a comeback from Right Said Fred?